Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic SUV

Back in May of 2023 our 2019 sleek black cat Jaguar I-Pace HSE (Code name Big Kitty) started giving "She who must be obeyed" and myself the exact same legion of messages that ended up with the first heart stopping failing of both 12v batteries in the Jag, at the exact same time that we had experienced in the early July time frame of 2022.

When that happened I had found myself holding it from rolling backwards into the 160 freeway while having major conniptions of my impending doom and such associated dramas and danger that went with that particular incident from oncoming traffic that was not going at the 55 Mph it was supposed to be moving at.

The car had given me a warning it was shutting down literally as I entered Highway 160 and it had to be coasted to the road edge on the momentum and gravity energy that remained from it's motion at 25 Mph, 80 yards after It displayed said message when it shut down ungracefully and so very suddenly.

I had no emergency limp mode or anything, it just went completely dead and I had to rush out of the vehicle to prevent it rolling backwards into the oncoming traffic that was getting bigger and bigger by the second as it sped towards me.

Articulated trucks and pickups were shortly thundering past me at 80+ Mph, shaking the whole I-Pace as they thundered past.

It was a good job I had been a rugby scrum forward most of my life with club training that involved scrumming an old Morris Minor 1000 up and down a muddy rugby field with the rest of the scrum pack....

I finally found a use outside of rugby for all that scrum training back then....

After the 12 hour drama waiting for Jaguar roadside assistance (what a concept!) to arrive on the scene, the dealer in Walnut Creek replaced both of these suspect 12v batteries professing it was a million to one happenstance that both should fail at the same time...

I found seventy other occurrences of this exact same type of failure at first Googling however....

The terror imprint on my face from that incident obviously etched some alarm in "She who must be obeyed" as she decided the Jag had to go with the unwelcome re-emergence of said messages.

I had ordered the new Fiske Oceans to replace our EV's last September but cancelled them when the Austrian factory folks let on about the Legion of software failures with that project and the zero buy in from "she who must be obeyed!"

"She who must be obeyed" informed me she would rather not suffer being a Mk 1 version 1.0 Guinea pig again.

Her preference was the Volvo XC90 Hybrid as one of the replacements but a Hybrid electric power train with a Poxy 2.0L 4 cylinder Gas engine did not make my being vibrate with thrills, especially at the price point they are asking for one.

The fact is, our EV's have cost us near nothing to run and GM just swapped the battery of our 2017 Bolt Premier for a brand spanking new one for ZERO charge.

GM also killed the Bolt and BEUV line the other day by the way, the last ones to be made will be November 7th 2023 as it has not had the sales volume they desired, no doubt due to how they cocked up the whole LG Chem battery recall issue with the Bolt in the first place.

The Orion plant will switch to electric Pickup trucks but this is going to prove another costly GM mistake as time rolls by - They are getting rather good at getting it wrong these GM folk!

I will be running my Bolt Premier into the ground as it is now our Woof Transport System (WTS) and actually, when the LG Chem battery on that does eventually die in 8 years time I will hopefully put in the by then new Sodium Chem batteries to replace these dangerous Lithium Ion items.

Toyota have allegedly had a major breakthrough in EV Battery cell technology and it is going to rock the world when it launches in 2027. These are Lithium Phosphate based solid state cells that allegedly sport an estimated 645 mile battery range.

But right now it is 2023, so I am not much interested in that right at the minute.

I will be if someone offers new batteries to replace my current ones in a neat swap package of Sodium tech for Lithium Tech cells, or whatever the new Toyota stuff is based on..which I hear is actually Solid state Lithium Phosphate - which Stordot had a hand in creating.

I was going to go with the Israeli StorDot Polymer engineered tech but they are focused on self healing Lithium Ion tech instead of doing their original Polymer Engineered fix for this EV Battery shite, which is a shame..

Chemistry mixes for optimum EV battery cell conditions at different climates is a messy business and requires reservoirs of chemicals in the package to deliver and intricate computer calculations to figure out as temperatures go up and down and it supposedly self heals when it gets it wrong.

This self healing solution is not elegant by the way, it is exceedingly complex with a few major pitfalls. Simple is elegant IMHO.

This means Lithium Ion is not really the way to go for EV power, sadly.

We need battery cell chemistry that works within an operating band that would work everywhere at an ideal temperature for the battery cells.

Fire hazards caused by Lithium spike dendrites are a serious problem to cater to in these lithium batteries and so for this reason I am pretty shocked they went ahead with Lithium cell technology in the first place, but what do I know?

I remain convinced Polymer engineered batteries that engineer out the temperature spike issues and use proper anode, cathode and electrolytes that were all polymer engineered to do the job at Zero hazard risk is the way to go and we have the technology and many lab betas that proved it out.

Polymer engineered batteries that can charge to full capacity in 15 minutes flat with a 3700 mile range exists in labs in Israel today. 3700 miles is not a typo by the way...

I guess they do not want to unleash this stuff just yet for whatever reason.

So in any event we did actually try to buy the new Jaguar I-Pace (2024 HSE), but we were flabbergasted by the sales schmuck at Cole European we contacted.

Our original Cole European sales guy went to Audi but she who must be obeyed no like Audi after the diesel scandal.......

Now we paid $103K for our Jag and the first year we got treated OK by Cole folk and their service department folk are totally awesome folk.

However, when I call a Jaguar dealer to say I want to trade in my current Jag for a new Jag I do not take the "Try Another Car dealer" reply from the sales guy very well at all.

The Jag dealer in Sacramento was actually on the ball but it was gonna be a 6 month delivery for a 24 HSE model and they wanted our 2019 HSE right now.

Volvo offered us a laughable $25K for it and the Walnut Creek Volvo crew of many horrors ensured we will never buy another Volvo ever again.

I have owned more Volvo's than any other car brand in my life to date with my Dad's 1967 1.8L 122S that I completely rebuilt in 1992 being my fave car evah!

Anyhew, I told Mercedes of Pleasanton folk when we wondered in for a looksee that Jag had offered us $33K for the I-Pace and they came back with $32K trade in on any EQE we liked, so we took them up on it.

Overall, they treated us like shit though.

My Wife and I like dressing like peasants when we go buy a car as it separates the shit from the toilet paper salesman wise.

They were lucky the test drive in the thang was so sublime and that "She who must be Obeyed" had wanted this thing from the outset, unbeknownst to I, I might add.

I had looked at their EQS lineup and did not realize they also had the EQE gear.

The EQS is egregiously stupid expensive while the EQE is just stupid expensive.

So in short order we drive out of there minus the beloved Jag, behind the wheel of the EQE we test drove, crying like babies about the 7.9% interest on the loan as we sobbed and blubbered our way home in the new Mercedes EQE 350 4Matic SUV.

My free radical Hebrew DNA was not much impressed by this interest rate after the Jaguar Finance 0% loan.....Even Nissan is offering 2.99% APR these Dayze....

If I had my way we would be driving the new Nissan Ariya EV....

My last Mercedes by the way was a 1982 200E and I loved that car a whole bunch.

However, it got rammed in the rear by Toyota Mini Bus drivers in Pretoria and Johannesburg three times in a 4 month time span which forced me to sell it after they told me a 4th time rear-ender would be resulting in a final trip to the scrapheap.

If I'd had the cash at that juncture of my life I would have bought the Mercedes 300D every 20 years and been done with cars as a focal point in my life.

One of my pals from Botswana who is a farmer inherited his Fathers Yellow 300D and 3, 400, 713 KM later it is still running, though we have pimped that ride twice before already (paint, electrics, seating and a new Motor Block in 2009 after it threw a piston through said block).

So I have driven about 1223 miles in the EQE so far (Code name Edelweiss) and topped up the battery a few times and was quite impressed how the GOM range went up to 302 miles range @ 95% charge after charging it for a third time.

It actually does not want to charge beyond 95% anyways - gets real slow from 92% charge in fact.

On the EQE by the way, you have to flick the minus paddle on the left side of the steering wheel for Max regen braking to restore battery power - every time you drive it, it does not remember the setting.

Mercedes calls this Max Recuperation mode.

Once I set the Max Recuperation paddle every time I drive it, shit starts looking pretty darn respectable indeed, range wise.

They list the range at 253 miles on their USA website but I think this is assuming you buy the 60 extra ponies upgrade for $1950.

As I mentioned, after a few charges it informed me the range is 302 miles with a 95% charge.

This is constant after three charges and it is confusing me greatly as the literature says 279 miles, though I did get it to 329 miles the other day after I forgot it was still on charge.

I did some aggregate math on this range thang and it actually seems that the aggregate is almost exactly 279 miles range - this is combining both uphill and downhill destination legs from Brentwood CA 94513 to Mediterranean drive Hayward and back, so maybe the claim is not as crazy as it first seems to be.

I took 160 to Highway 4, to 242, to 680 to 24 to 980 to I880 and return was via I880 to 238, to 580 to Vasco Road to Highway 4 and the branch off to 160 exit at 18th Street.

I did touch 103 Mph twice but was on cruise control set to 67 Mph outbound and just floored it when safe homeward bound in the express lane.

This EQE 350 4Matic SUV drives and handles like a slick smooth machine that impresses every time you drive the darn thang.

It does over-steer which is surprising for such a heavy vehicle.

You feel like a glove of sublime luxury has wrapped you up in it's velvet arms and coated your senses with luxury as you go.

The entertainment system and integration with Apple CarPlay is wireless and also very slick for 47 minutes at which point it mysteriously just disconnects.

Scheisse!!

On 7/22 I activated the T-Mobile internet system from the Mercedes system in the car and this seemed to have temporarily solved the BlueTooth dropping from the iPhone in Apple CarPlay mode but it started doing it again almost immediately.

This makes no sense whatsoever and is sans logic but I drove 140 miles on 7/23 and since I did the T-Mobile activation the Apple CarPlay dropout problem had gone away but came back August 1 2023, randomly.

It also cuts out parallel to a water treatment plant on Highway 4 and none of my other vehicles does this.

I got somewhat of a clue from a Danish EQE owner from Aarhus on the interwebs thang last week.

Good job I can read me some Danish but I as stated, I had to report this is in fact not the answer.

The entertainment system in the I-Pace was a serious joke by the way, in case you were wondering about comparisons.

Unlike the Jaguar though, the Navigation system in the EQE is actually pretty slick but there is no beating what Waze does there IMHO, so I drive with Waze on the screen and switch between Danish or Dutch as the default language in Waze.

I have yet to explore the various Mercedes screens and settings or language options tied to my profile because my wife can only manage German and me no like German GPS speaks and prefer Dutch or Danish as my default language..

Anyhew, I will update my Mercedes EQE electric adventures as I go week by week!

By the way, the Obsidian Black Paint job on this SUV is vastly superior to the Jaguars Santorini Black custom paint job, by a very wide margin.

I hated the paint job on the HSE with a passion.

In fact, IMHO ALL Jaguar cars have very sub-standard paint on them, they need to go see how Mercedes does paint IMHO.

Even the plush seats in the EQE put the fine Jaguar seating and Upholstery to shame which was a shocker for me to process, truth be told.

I don't even miss the Jaguars egregious power much......In my opinion the Hungarian made twin electric motors in the EQE are vastly superior to the Polish ones found in the Jaguar I-PACE EV400 HSE in terms of refinement.

I did discover you can pay $60 a month to boost the electrical power in the EQE 350 4Matic SUV by 60HP to take it to 348 ponies or a lifetime payment of $1950 to make it a forever deal.

However, be aware the battery range using this extra power cuts the range to 185 miles and also be aware that at 5364 lbs curb weight plus passengers and luggage that this thing takes some distance stopping from 130 Mph track antics.

The extra HP does not impact top speed by the way, just how it gets there.

The 400 HP those Polish motors in the I-PACE deliver though are RAW and magnificent in their vicious and blunt brutal glory.

The Mercedes electric motors are made in Hungary and the Hungarians have been building these things since Nicola Tesla roamed the area in person.

I even bought me an Alpine hat to wear while driving the EQE, "She who must be obeyed" is mightily galled by my Green Bavarian Hat!

Month 3 and we are now at 1223 miles and the GOM range reports dead on 302 mile range after a fullish charge to 95% fairly consistently.

They (Mercedes Factory) set it to charge to just 80% by the way, citing battery preservation as the reason.

If Mercedes techs juggle the active cells with software like they do on the Bolt and Jaguar I-PACE (both LG Chem batteries) they can achieve the same sort of effect without sacrificing range, so me no like that development! It be a crock of shite IMHO!

We went to Hayward over the weekend of 7/23 to visit our Grandson Chuckles again and we had 164 miles range left on our return.

The second time we did the same trip we had less power left (52%) but the GOM displayed a claimed 164 miles range to go and I was aggressive with the ol hoof on the return leg of that trip as well.

Somehow this EQE manages to put a lot of power back into the battery system in Max Recuperation mode.

One difference on this thing compared to other EV's is the way this thing brakes.

It's like a normal ICE vehicle with braking and it is very heavy at 5364 odd pounds empty.

I have yet to discover one pedal driving mode on this EQE thing. The Bolt and Jag were awesome with this aspect.

In fact I waded into one pedal driving with the EQE these past few months and have concluded this is in fact a swift way to die.

It is way too heavy for that sh1t!

I have also noticed my original 2016 based ClipperCreek level 2 charger takes a long time to charge this beast to 95% as well.

I bought it in December 2016 and am wondering how long these thangs actually last?

Simple circuitry should make it near Immortal actually......

I did notice the warranty dipped from 5 years to 3 years on the newer ones though.

I like ClipperCreek stuff because they do not futz with the Smart Circuitry remote access bollocks that is the Achilles heel of all of these EV chargers that offer remote app access and control shenanigans from a smart phone.

Enphase bought ClipperCreek a few years ago and I suspect the Money Bunny of this new company has resulted is lesser components being acquired but I will need to rip the new one apart when I get one to confirm my suspicion there.

Do not use ClipperCreek EV charging systems in cold climes by the way, their Cable is not freeze friendly at all.

If you live in California or Arizona it was designed for you!

Last week I called Enphase to go over the time to charge experience.

The LCS30-P can only deliver 5.7 KWh charging rates, I need to upgrade to the HCS40 where I will get 9.6 KWh charge rates to bring the charge time down.

This means a hard wired HCS40 on a 60Amp circuit breaker with 6 AWG wiring upgrades though I think the wiring may already be 6 AWG.

While we are at homebase work wise I will try find a Suitable Free Charger from Electrify America or pay for an EVGO Fast Charge to 85% and do the rest at home.

I also learnt the Enphase folk upgraded all the cables on these units to be Freeze friendly which is why those units all cost $821 upwards with 5 year warranties.

If you are paying less than $600 for your LCS it is not ruggedized BTW.

Some more electrical details to worry about for your EV experience!!

On 8/31 I took it to the EVGO Fast charging setup close to Bev Mo on Lone Tree Way and was amazed how fast it sucked up electrons but it is the same story I found on my Bolt in terms of ramping stages.

When I plugged it in it was charging at 132 KW/h per the GOM in the vehicle, 15 minutes later it ramped down to 123 KW/h, did that for 6 minutes then stepped down to 102 KW/h then 92 KW/h and on down to 42 KW/h by the time my endurance was reached.

This has nothing to do with the DC fast charging system by the way as the Vehicle dictates to the charging system what it wants.

Of course if the DC Fast charging system cannot deliver 200 KW/h it will not charge at 200 KW/h even for a short ramp so it is important.

Most of these EVGO and Electrify America DC Fast chargers only serve up 150 KW/h max anyways so while they are better than a level 2 charger it is only marginally better.

I used to have to charge for 57 minutes with the HSE on them thangs.

I stopped charging when it got to 90% charge but would suggest letting it go down to 10% and charging it to 83% when you want to use the DC Level 3 Fast charging.

This could be tricky on a long trip between LA and the Bay area so trip planning to know where DC Fast chargers lurk on your route is a must do exercise.

For me Highway 5 and 99 has plenty of Electrify America DC Fast chargers which are free for Mercedes owners for 2 years if you buy a new EQ series electric vehicle from them, so I can hurtle between destinations in my sales territory at high speed and rapidly charge to 83% before moving on with 30 minutes charging done.

This charge to 83% by the way seems to also give you the claimed 279 miles range though 5 miles down the 99 it was depleting faster than usual.

I am starting to think level 2 charging is more charge efficient than level 3 Fast DC charging and they do indeed not work the same way at all.

Things to worry about as we go!

Bisher ist alles sehr verdammt pfirsichfarben!