New Kwakker Clucks it's last Clucks
Updated: 6 days ago
The problem for me at 225-230 lbs on this KLR machine was the suspension setup at the front end of the machine.
This was rather brutally exposed recently when I drove from a normal sandy track into deep sand at 7 Mph, a mile or so from our house the other day.
I shot my left leg out to catch the fall from the sudden but violent twist it made on the front wheel to the left and I was rewarded with a grade two calf muscle strain as my foot touched the sand and I felt something tear as the 670 Lbs package on Dark Duck was transferred to said left calf muscle.
Clearly, not a great idea.
I should have just dropped it and gone down in the sand with it at that speed.
In addition to that, at highway speeds of around 73 Mph it developed the infamous KLR weave which was triggered by the many Californian highway bridge crossing section ripples and which were serious born-again Christian type affairs.
It was immediately obvious that if I wanted to ride Dark Duck safely that $2800 additional needed to be spent on the font and rear suspension upgrades with a decent (as in serious) fork brace to match my beefy proportions.
There is a company in Utah called Cogent Dynamics that do these suspension upgrades for your specific weight, and I had been looking at them for a long while.
They have a $379 DDC kit that takes care of the front end and another Moab Pro series Ultimate shock for $1759 plus taxes for the rear end which I could have installed myself but getting a shop to do it was my preference.
I also needed to source a decent front fork brace to go with it and stick to Dunlop TrailMax Mission tires on the KLR.
The Mitas tires are good on dirt and gravel but really suck on the highway.
This begged the question as to what other Motorcycle could accommodate a porker like myself sans any major upgrade dramas.
I had to do a lot of upgrades on the KLR by the way...
The MSRP price tag was $5897 but the roll out the door price was $9500...and then there was the metal bash plate, metal footpegs, tacho, CNC bits, air filters, doohickey kit with tools, quick remove seat nuts, handlebar risers and reroutes, spare chain and sprocket set et al.
On the subject of Power Sports stores conducting serious rip offs, this freight charge they all add to the bill needs some serious looking into by Federal and State level folks.
What is the freight charge for, for a 2025 machine they imported in 2024 all about exactly??
Then there is the service package charges they try charge for basic motorcycle stuff that makes no sense at all.
For example the Spirit finance guy wanted to rip me $4000 for 4 services! And he has a CMA shield in his office!
These are things that make you want to walk out they are so insulting.
Its a Pushrod V-Twin for fuck sakes, setting valves cold on the Guzzi V-twin motors involves placing it on the service stand, removing both spark plugs and the head covers (20 minutes work if you are slow), placing the gears in 3rd or 4th gear and then placing it in TDC by moving the rear wheel until it is TDC, then you pull out a feeler gauge at 0.10 mm and set the valves near the fuel injectors for that feeler gauge setting, and then switch to the 0.15mm feeler wafer for the exhaust valve and set that to 0.15mm.
After that you go to the other side and set that side to TDC by moving the wheel and repeat the intake and exhaust valve clearances.
If you talk shit while you do it, maybe 25 minutes work.
Then you put in new gaskets and do up both sides and thats the valve work if it sounds ok.
Start it up to see if it is all tickety-boo and that's the valves done.
Then you do the TPS settings with the Piaggio tool, say another 20 minutes and then you drain the engine oil (remove the metal bash plate first) that's another 25 minutes for changing the oil filter and putting in new 10W60 Synthetic engine oil.
Then you drain the shaft drive and add 130 ml of 75W140 shaft drive synthetic oil and do the same for the gearbox which I believe takes 700cc of the same 75W140 oil you used for the shaft drive unit.
Guzzi requires molybdenum in the oil so be sure to use Liquid Moly 75W140 oil which runs $49 a liter.
The V7 takes 400 ml and a lot of Guzzi dealers put just 400 ml in the V85 Gearboxes, which is a serious mistake.
In my book, 1 Hour for the Oil change and TPS settings and another hour for the valves.
Then you just clear all the codes that may turn up and take it for a test run on a rolling bench or on the street.
This is not $2445 worth of work!
This pitch may work with most Gen Z and the uneducated millennial crowd who I term the collective Zombie generation, but not anyone with a fully functioning sole synapse.
Valve cover gaskets run $7.99 each (which they never replace this on a new machine), Oil and oil filter is $73 (Max), Liquid Moly Gear oil, gasket and fill plug O ring run $49.99, the Final drive Oil, gasket and plug are $47.99 for a grand total of $186.96 for oil, gaskets and such. No new Spark plugs at the break in service...Those run $25 each more.
If you buy a liter of Liquid Moly you can do the gearbox and final drive unit and have a small amount left in reserve.
That leaves labor which we had said would run 90 minutes but lets call it 120. That's 2 hours labor max....
And there is the problem these Power Sports stores are generating for themselves with their greed.
They already take too much cash for the machines they sell with bogus freight charge inflation and faux setup fee charges they clearly pay just lip service to.
Martine at Spirit cycles claims his labor charges are $216 an hour and based on those rates and the crap job his crew do, I seriously suggest finding somewhere in Hollister or Elk Grove to do your spanner work.
When I got my Kawasaki from Contra Costa Power Sports nothing was tight or setup right, I basically had to strip the bike and redo it from scratch.
The hand guards were not installed right which interfered with clutch operation on the left, the clutch cable itself was routed incorrectly and I had to route the throttle cables properly on the right as well.
Then most of the fairing allen bolts were all loose and the suspension had not been setup for my weight.
In the UK when you buy a bike they ask you what weight you want them to set it up for. This is part of the new PDI rigamarole.
Here in the USA most Power Sports stores check oil levels, make sure throttle and clutch cables are not snagging and cure any overly obvious rattles, check brake fluid and brakes are functioning and then they wheel it out, slap the temporary paper license on the back and walk you through the basic controls.
I had to spend 2 days in my own garage with the Kwakker and I did about the same on the Guzzi.
Half the Guzzi did fall off on the ride home though and so far the dealer is just not responsive.
So, after a short chat from Spirit cycles with she who must be obeyed on the mobile phone the KLR was dispatched to the used lot of Spirit Motorcycles in San Jose in exchange for a 2025 Fuji Rosso Moto Guzzi V85 TT.
I should have asked for the KLR back when I saw those freight and setup charges though....
The KLR was fun until it wasn't. The engine is good on these by the way. No drama there at all if you change the oil every 1000 miles.
I used Motul full synthetic 10W40 7100 oil on it which I swapped to at 1365 miles and changed it every 600 miles.
Initially it was when I was on the local Levee roads that I fully appreciated what a smart selection this KLR 650 Adventure had been for me.
It was the getting to the levee roads on highway 160 that was to prove to be the issue however, as well as the dirt aspects in deepish sand.
The KLR standard is a very heavy machine and sand is not it's forte...
First off, it pootled along between 37- 45 Mph on the levee roads, just perfect for said shoddy road surfaces and second it sucked up all the torrid terrains she encountered like a duck takes to water at those lower speeds on said ag roads.
What it did not like was hitting the ripples on highway sections that were bridges at 70+ Mph or the front tire suddenly hitting deepish sand.
These induced serious KLR horror weave antics and sudden violent fork twists you read about on the internet.
To be fair, this got worse with the Mitas EO7 tires I shod it with recently. The Dunlops it came with never did this weave thing.
It could not do this DMV test very well either by the way.
In any event Dark Duck is now history for me.
Stay tuned for more sanguine English language butchering as I attempt to articulate said new adventures aboard the new Moto Guzzi TT.
The KLR had a massive gas tank by the way, a whole 6.1 gallons worth and the warning light allegedly comes on when there is a gallon or so left sloshing around inside her.
Having such a large tank means you do not have to fill her up that whole six gallons every time, only when you are going long distancing.
This lets you play around with weight options if that's whut makes your boat do the floaty thing.
The 2025 Moto Guzzi V85 TT also has a 6.1 Gallon Gas tank by the way...
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